Tuesday, August 29, 2017

"MY MOTHER VERSUS THE NEW YORK HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT" By Jerry Silvers


When Milton (Also known as Mr. Television) moved to Los Angeles his most ardent fan his mother Sarah, didn’t want to leave her beloved home in New York. Every day after rehearsals or filming he would call her at a precise evening time. She always made sure to receive his call, by sitting and waiting by the phone to ring.

This evenings phone conversation would be different. Sarah was very upset and in a fit of crying, as she related to Milt that a certified letter arrived from the State of New York. It said her home has been determined to be in way of the new highway construction project. That she will be offered a market valued price for her property and even cost of relocating.  The official letter went on to say that this must be accomplished by October 1st of this year. A representative of the road commission will be making an appointment to appraise the home and have you sign the paperwork to transfer your property title to the State with full payment at the signing.

“Milt, I don’t want to move and give up my home, can’t you do something?”

“Wait mom, I don’t know much about this situation, let me make some calls. Mom, maybe it’s time you move to California, I have a great big house, you’ll have your own wing and enjoy the beautiful weather. Remember you can be part of the audience again, I sure can use your boisterous laughter at my old jokes.”

“No way Milton my love, your papa bought this house for me before you were born, and I want my grandchildren to inherit it one day.”

“Let me see, I recently made a new acquaintance who happens to be a lawyer coming off his first dramatic win. I’ll call him to see how we should proceed.”

“Hey Vinny, this is Milt, we met last week at the Friars Club. Congratulations on your court win down South. I have a problem to discuss with you and I believe you are license to practice in New York State.”

“Sure, I remember you,  who doesn’t know Uncle Milty, a big shot like you, I really enjoyed your jokes at the Friars’ dinner.  How can I help you?”
                                                                 **
Vinny calls Milt later in the week. “Milt, this is Vinny, I been investigating your mother’s case against the State Of New York and the NY Highway Commission. We’re up against some mighty  tough opponents. We’re going to need for you to call in all your resources to win this case.”

Milt living in New York over the years made many friends, making large amount of contributions to charities and local politicians. He starting making his phone calls.
The phone rings, its Milt’s Mother Sarah. “Milty, I have a great idea, how about I contact my League of Women Voters and have them demonstrate inside and in front of the court house.”

“That’s a great idea, I having the mayor come with a few of his political friends.
                                                          **
From the first day of the trial, because of Milton’s popularity, it was telecast across the nation. The LWV women picketed every day of the trial and help fill up the visitor’s section to standing room only. The judge constantly had to use the gavel to keep order.

Even before the final verdict came in, the publicity over this trial, was a major factor for the Highway Commission to decide to re-route the freeway further out of the city limits. 

Another win for Vinny and Sarah celebrated with all the League of Women Voters.

He is now running for District Court Judge in the 70th precinct. 

“LEAGUE OF WOMEN VOTERS”

Members who attended Sarah’s trial.

 ***

Special note: Milton Berle’s movie and television career span from 1914 to the year of 2000. As a child actor at six years old, his first silent movie was “The Perils of Pauline”.   In 1930’s he was a successful standup comedian in Vaudeville.


I had an accident in my training pants and my lawyer Vinny got me one thousand dollars. “You can trust Vinny to win your case every time!”




Copyright 2017 Summerlin's Writers & Poets Workshop. (Jerry Silvers) 

Monday, August 28, 2017

"CONFRONTING A BULLY" By Jerry Silvers

           

     My brother Ivan and I immigrated from Turkmenistan in 1996.
Our parents gave up their life's savings to send us to America to stay with family members. My life was miserable, I couldn't speak the language and the children in the schools made fun of how I spoke and dressed. I miss the old country and homesick!

    The bully, Jacob, took my lunch money and pushed me around from one kid to another. I was told I had to prove myself by doing whatever this kid, Jacob said.  I would be his personal slave or anyone else he decided to give me too. I didn't understand, I thought this was how America worked.

     In the old country, I dreamed about America, watching their movies. I wanted to become another Fred Astaire, I just had to find a new Ginger Rogers. We didn't have many blonds in Turkmenistan.

     I have all the moves, look at me, I am a terrific dancer. (He sways from one side of the room to the other.)

     My brother Ivan wanted to be a professional basketball player and in Turkmenistan he was famous in the position of center of our local team. However, he didn't have the speed necessary to compete at the professional level, so he found other avenues to make a living.

     One day, he finally noticed how depressed I've been and wanted to know what's going on in my life. I told him how the bullies have been treating me in school and that I didn't understand the American ways. He said he wanted to accompany me to school that day, and it wasn't right the way they treated me.

     I sure learned how to confront bullies, easy, just introduce your big brother to them, now a famous movie star. Soon all my problems melted away. Now I was invited to join in all the games and even chosen first when it came to team sports. Here is a picture of my brother Ivan and his new girlfriend Sheila.
                                         
       


    "No autographs, please."
                                                      ***

Copyright 2017 Sun City Writers Workshop - Las Vegas, NV. 

Visit our Summerlin's blog: www.summerlinww.blogspot.com
for new posting by our very talented writers and poets. 

     








               

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

"THE GOOD OLD DAYS" By Jerry Silvers (The essence of sitcom comedy writing.)

                              
(Gloria) “Hey Dad, Michael and I would like to talk you and mom about an important decision we’ve made.”

(Archie) “Okay little girl, let’s me get settle here in my living room chair and let’s hear what meathead and you have come up with. I hope it has something to do with getting your own place.”

(Gloria) “Daddy, Michael got a teaching position at Carnegie Institute branch here in New York.”

(Edith) “Isn’t this wonderful Archie, we now have a professor in our family.”

(Archie) “Wait a minute Edith, there’s more to this announcement and I hope it’s good news.”

(Michael) “Well Archie, we need to borrow some money to purchase this car my friend is selling, he wants only $800.00. A terrific buy, he’s moving to California."

(Archie) “What the hell do you need a car for, we have plenty of transportation here in New York, streetcars, buses, subways – they call it public transportation and I paid for it.”

(Gloria) “Listen Daddy, Michael needs this car to get to work on time and part of his job is to visit other institutes of higher learning to lecture, he can’t rely on public transportation.”

(Edith) “That makes sense Archie, remember your first car with the rumble seat, we sure had fun in that rumble seat, don’t you remember.”

(Archie) “Shut up Edith, we not talking about rumble, bumble seats, let’s keep this discussion about them, not us.”

(Edith) “You know Archie purchase this car with his buddies just to have some way to drive out to Bugzy’s Roadhouse on route #8. They all chip in $200.00 to buy it. Archie wanted to impress me, so he shined up this car and it was spotless in and out when he came to pick me up. He finally paid off his buddies and parked his car in the driveway. 
He sure took care of that car, but he didn’t know how to take care of the motor, checking the water and oil. Soon the engine froze up and car sat in his family driveway, just looking great, but never ran again.”

(Archie) “I loved that car, and I couldn’t afford another one when the depression set in. I’ll tell you what!  Let me buy the car and I can use it on weekends.”

(Michael) “That’s find Arch, but you need to get your driver license again, take a written test, drivers test, and insurance. You sure you want to do this?  How about I purchase the car in my name, give you the title to hold until we move out. I’ll drive you guys on weekends to anywhere you want to go.”

(Archie) “That’s a great idea. Let’s go and take a look at this car of yours."

(Edith) “Archie, maybe the car has a rumble seat, I sure love rumble seats. Maybe later tonight we can pretend we’re back in your old car's rumble seat.”

(Archie) “Gee Edith, will you stop with the rumble seat, can’t you see we have some serious business here."
                         
                           “Those were the days, as time goes by.”
                                                      ***




Our members appreciate your comments and recommendations, please keep them coming.  Visit our Summerlin's Blog: www.summerlinww.blogspot.com 
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Our newest member of our critique committee.
"What we have here is a failure to communicate." 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

'DEAN AND JERRY'S FIRST VIDEO' By Jerry Silvers



“Hey Dean, your new song “That’s Amore” has hit number one on the Hit Parade, congratulations.”

“Not only that Jerry, the recording studio wants me to do something brand new called a music video. They are going to telecast it on television and at the movie theaters across the country.”

“Can I be part of it?” (Jerry starts singing) “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie. That’s Amore.  When the world seems to shine like you’ve too much wine. That’s Amore.”

No, the studio just wants only me, it’s about a love song, no comedy, and Gina Lollobrigida will be my love interest.”

“I love pizza and wine!”  I love Gina too!  Please, please Dean, can’t I play just a small part, maybe a walk-on?”

“I’m sorry Jerry, the studio made me sign an agreement on this film, no comedy, only romance.”
                                                        **

Well, Jerry wasn’t satisfied, so he decided to make his own video. And not only that he opened up his own Pizza Parlor, called Jerry’s World Class Pizza. His filming crew would be filming at this remote location.

Before Jerry open his pizza joint, he had to learn how to make pizza and develop his own recipe. He went through the series of making the dough and twirling and flipping it up in the air. Two large dough pies tossed in the air actually disappeared. His pizza sauce wasn’t coming out to great in the blender or on his clothes. He tried new toppings, like rhubarb and squash.


He didn’t realize that small sampling of the new delicious sauce didn’t formulate into the larger batch, like he thought, and he discovered this too late.  

He found himself gaining weight, especially in the middle. He ballooned up to almost 225 lbs. and he now had a beer belly. One day, while filming, the two-tossed pizza dough dropped from somewhere in the ceiling, crashing unto Jerry’s unsuspecting head. 


He filmed the video while miming Dean’s Song, while these disasters around him continue to happen. As he opened the door for business, the unexpected happen, the lines of customers were a block long.

Customers started to complain, waiting two hours for their pizza, many brought the pizza’s back under cooked or even burnt, some tasted awful because of the sauce. He tried to handle everything with the rubber gloves on for collecting money, another set of gloves to make the pizza, and his effort and his dismay in returning almost everyone’s money.  Oh, I forgot answering the phone and busing the tables.
                                                       **
When the studio heads reviewed the two videos, of course they selected Jerry’s. Dean was so upset, he didn’t speak to Jerry for almost one week and canceled several nightclubs gigs. Jerry sold his interest in the pizza parlor and spent all his time sending apologies to Dean. The video was such a hit, that Dean’s version of That’s Amore” received a golden record for selling a million copies.

We will never know if this episode in Dean and Jerry’s career did end their partnership. Never-the-less, the original love video was never seen again and disappeared somewhere in the music studios archives.  Gina did make a walk-on role in Jerry’s video, that even upset Dean even more.

                                                                ***

Jerry Lewis was one of the most creative comedians that the entire world who we learned
 to cherished. His humanitarian work over the years  will always be remembered. Our condolences to all his fans and family. Aug. 20, 2017

Copyright 2017 Sun City Writers Workshop - Las Vegas, NV. 


Author and Past President and founder of Summerlin's Writers and Poets Workshop -  Jerry Silvers


Also visit our Summerlin's Blog to read this month's topic:
www.summerlinww.blogspot.com   "Tragedy in Las Vegas"

We appreciate your comments and recommendations, please keep them coming. 
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Just love this drawing and have to share.(Jerry)