|Doctor Ludwig Frankel|
(Announcer) "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the ninth annual scientific symposium here in Atlanta. We are so please to announce that our first speaker is the renown scientist Dr. Ludwig Frankel. Dr. Frankel has traveled 4000 miles from Prague to present his latest findings on the benefit of the apricot pit to the World Health Organization. I give you Dr, Ludwig Frankel." (A few mild applause)
"Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen. Seriously, I am afraid to announce after landing here in Atlanta, my government informed me that my scientific papers have now been classified 'Top Secret'.
I can assure you and to every member present that my findings will revolutionize the world of science and make me a very rich and famous scientist. I will now take questions."
"Doctor Frankel, I have two questions for you today."
"What is your name, sir?"
"My name is Pepper, Dr, A.P. Pepper, and what I would like to know Doctor, did you have prior knowledge that this auditorium you're now standing in has a history of being haunted and has been televised On Search for the Paranormal?"
Also, were you disappointed that the Scientific Symposium council failed to provide you with the visual aid equipment you requested? By the way Doctor, I traveled 4021 miles to ask these questions."
"WHAT THE HELL DOES THESE QUESTIONS HAVE TO DO WITH MY SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH AND DISCOVERIES?"
"Nothing, I just like to attend these symposium and ask questions."
(Announcer -Next Question)
"Doctor, I have a question."
"You look familiar, what is your name?"
"Seriously, my name is Charles Frankel, your brother. I think Ludwig you crushed too many apricot pits, and I came here to stop you from making a fool of yourself. I traveled 4022 miles to confront you with your own findings. My question to you my dear Ludwig and symposium, doesn't your findings on the apricot pit extraction compare to the avocado and heart of an artichoke show the same results? Didn't we discover this together, tell us the truth my dear Ludwig?"
"How do you know all this information, it's supposed to be top secret? And the truth, you can't handle the truth."
"Ludwig, don't you know that your research papers are all over the internet. I want you to confess, here and today, to this scientific symposium how you used me as your human guinea pig and look at me today, you can't even recognize your own brother. You made me into a monster."
"REMOVE THIS FRAUD AND CHARLATAN."
"Doctor Frankel. I traveled 4023 miles to stand by your side and to give you the emotional support you deserve against these liable attacks I expected from the scientific community. They are all seriously jealous of your genius. I promise to smother you with hugs and kisses so you will forget these nasty people. I have arranged a private suite, so we can review all your findings in private with a bowl of delicious wild berries and vintage champagne."
"Wait one minute, no one is taking my first field assignment to no hotel room. I am FBI agent Donald McDonald and I am here to accompany Dr. Frankel back to the Czechoslovakia embassy. You with the Frankenstein mask, let's not have any trouble here, I warn you. I have a purple belt in Karate. Now stand back the FBI is taking over. Is this damn microphone on, can anybody hear me out there? I may have to call for backup, he's coming towards me."
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