until we destroyed it.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
until we destroyed it.
Monday, October 15, 2018
©Mort Harris - Sun City Writers Workshop - Las Vegas, NV.
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Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Count Dracula would you like to share some of your feelings about Halloween with the group?
Dr. Sometimes I wish I was a pumpkin on Halloween. I get very depressed; it’s not my favorite holiday.
“Thanks for sharing that with the group Count.
“It makes me angry. He doesn’t know how good he has it. Tomorrow I’ll go from a mixing bowl to an oven and that’s how my life will end. I spent a whole year in a field surrounded by manure, getting rained on and then when I reach maturity my stem is cut. Do you know how painful that is without Anesthesia? That’s only the beginning then I’m thrown on a truck and taken to a supermarket where customers come by and start tapping on me like I’m some drum, and make deprecating comments, as if I had no feelings. I’m too big, I’m too small, and I’m not ripe enough. Don’t worry honey no one will recognize the blemishes it will be too dark. The rejection is demoralizing. Finally I’m put on a supermarket conveyer belt weighed and checked out on my way to oblivion.”
“Does Jack-O-Lanterns tale assuage you bitterness Count Dracula?”
“I didn’t realize a pumpkin had feelings. In my defense I’m coming off a sugar hi. Halloween blood is loaded with sugar.” I’m also living in a Senior Community–all the blood is laced with medication. The Stool softener is the worst. I have to send my cape to the cleaners after Halloween night. I also had trouble with the seniors that take Viagra.
“As your group leader I have to say this session has been very enlightening. Wicked Witch you seemed extremely quiet during our session?”
“They made me check my broom at the door.”
"And how does that make you feel?”
“Vulnerable. I don’t like the way Count Dracula keeps staring at my neck.”
“Count Dracula have you been staring at the cursed witch’s neck?”
“No I’ve had enough medication for one night. Could you please open a window, I have to leave?”
“But we haven’t heard from the rest of the group yet.”
“I’m sorry, but I have to pick up my spare cape before the cleaners close.”
Count Dracula before you go would you like to share some sage advice?”
“Yes. Be careful who you try to scare. Almost everybody has a gun these days. I on the other hand must be on the lookout for people carrying sharp wooden stakes and wearing garlic cloves.”
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Thursday, October 4, 2018
"Hmm...now let's see what this is all about. Gee whiz!
If this is true, we may be smarter than they think!" (Jeanne Marsh)
"Verry interesting. I'll have to discuss this crackpot evolution theory with Jane Goodall next week when our Jungle Book Club meets!" (Alice Magrane)
Gorilla Quote: "That's not fair. Man get a book. When will the Origin of Gorilla be published? !!!! (Adrienne Crawford)
"I know this Jane Goodall!!!!! (Gary Morgan)
Monday, October 1, 2018
© Don Silverman - Summerlin's Writers and Poets Workshop, Las Vegas, NV.
Scan down to read up to forty original comedy stories and poems.
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We are looking to expand our Comedy Writers Network. If you are interested in joining us and submitting material for posting contact me email@example.com (Jerry)
Saturday, September 29, 2018
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Jerry Silvers - webmaster
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Frank Bronson is a prominent lawyer living in New York City. His reputation for winning and defending his clients is well known nationwide. Frank’s office is located in his penthouse apartment in mid-Manhattan.
Cher: “Maybe a cup of coffee, cream and sugar.”
After pouring her a cup of coffee from a decanter sitting next to his desk, he starts the conversation.
Frank: “Mrs. Winters what seems to have brought you to my office and this city of New York.”
Cher: “Our son is in college here in New York City and we came up to visit him. I planned while I was here to make an appointment to meet with you. My Husband, Richard Winters, is the head of the Miami Longshoreman’s Union. As you probably realize, Miami is one of the major ports in the United States. This gangster (his com-padres) call him Scarface, and wants control of these docks through the union. Scarface has threatened Rich and our family unless he agrees to his control.”
Frank: “What do you think I could do for you from New York City?’
Cher: “I thought with your success with other cases outside the state you could handle this one.”
Frank: “I would have to investigate what laws he has broken to get the Miami District Attorney to prosecute him, then I would have a case. “
Cher: “Mr. Bronson, we desperately need your help because the locals are being paid off and Scarface has a tight control over the city’s unions.”
Frank: “This is a serious case your asking me to undertake. We’re talking maybe a half million dollars fee by the time we get to trial. Are you and your husband willing to gamble this amount?”
Cher: “When your life’s at stake, you have no choice.”
Local Miami lawyer, Reginald Pryor, will allow Frank Branson to participate as his assistant if it goes to trial. It so happens he is blind. (Justice is Blind!)
The Caranna Nightclub is owned by Scarface and his office is overlooking the dance floor as Frank, Ray, and Reginald arrive.
Frank Bronson: “Thank you for seeing us. My colleagues and I represent a client that wishes to pursue a settlement with you.”
Scarface: “Who’s your client.”
Frank: “Ronald Winters, the head of the Miami’s Longshoremen.”
Scarface: “I own Miami and I own Winters. If Winter’s doesn’t want to work with me, we can replace him with my own union man.”
Reginald speaks up: Raising his voice, “I know that justice is on our side, I know jurist prudence and advisory resolutions; we will not be intimidated.”
Scarface: “How about a little intimidation with my little friend here.” He draws a 45 automatic from his top drawer.”
Scarface: “Yes I know you, mister fancy Mr. New York lawyer. Why don’t you save your client’s money, you’re wasting my time? Everything is bought and sold in my city. I’ll even pay for your ticket back home.”
Reginald: Not realizing a gun is pointed at him. Reginald’s voice is loud and clear. “You’re going to be sorry mister I’m not afraid of you, I’ve messed with worst scum and meaner than you on the streets of Chicago.”
Ray”: “Take it easy Regi, he’s got a gun in your face.” Frank pulls up Reginald by his suit collar and sort of man handles him to the door. (Reginald remains defiant giving Scarface the finger all the way out the door.)
Scarface yells as they leave: “Get that stupid lawyer out of here, before I plug his mouth permanently.”
Reginald: “I’m not afraid of him, we’ve got enough evidence to nominate him for the gas chamber.”
Frank: In a whisper. “Do you have any idea how many people have become missing since he came into power. The three of us are now on his list.”
“Next, I plan to go to the Florida State Governor and bring the situation to his attention to remove the local authorities from influencing Scarface’s control.”
The prosecutions, with Frank and Reginald leading the way, won the case involving the Winter's family against Scarface. This win lead to the indictment and Federal Grand Jury putting Scarface on trail for his crimes.
Scan down to read up to forty original comedy stories by just some of our very talented writers and poets.
We are looking to expand.
If you are interested in joining our comedy writers network, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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Our members appreciate your comments and this will inspire them to continue writing. We have both novices and published members in our workshops.
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Columbo: “It seems we have a problem here professor of involving several bounced checks, complaints from both your investors and employees, also the fact the University wants you to be removed from the campus, and finally charges have been placed against you as a missing bridegroom. I’m sorry Professor, I’m just going to have to take you in for today’s lineup.”
Topic: "New Start"
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