Hi. My name is Melvin Margolis, and today I want to share with you some wonderful news.
First, I am so lucky, I can’t believe it; yesterday I received an e-mail from overseas that I had inherited two million dollars. Could you believe that, I didn’t even know I had relatives overseas? I sent them all my financial information as they requested. And today they came back to me with good news, that I would only have to pay a small transaction fee in order to have the bank release the funds. I immediately wired the $350.00 to their Nigeria account and was told I should receive my inheritance within 30 days.
The second most wonderful thing that happened; the women I’ve met on the singles dating web site, and who I have been corresponding with her for several months, says she is in love with me and wants us to get together. You should see her picture she is so beautiful, almost like a model out of some glamour magazine. The only problem is her poor mother is in the hospital and she is short of cash to pay her medical bills and could I send her $6000.00 which will include the two tickets for her and her son plane’s fare from the Philippines and also pay off the hospital bills. She is so excited to finally meeting me hinting on a possible marriage in the near future. What does six grand matter, I’m inheriting two million any day now.
Incidentally, I have just heard from my long lost high school friend today, I received an urgent e-mail from him; he was on vacation in Barbados and was mugged and lost tall his money, credit cards, and passport. His hotel will not allow him to check out until his bill is paid. He’s asking to borrow $2500.00 until he gets back to the States. You know we weren’t that close of friends, but what the hell, I’ll find out where he lives and how to contact him before I wire him the money.
Did I tell you, my mortgage company called and said I’m not meeting my increased loan payments based on the variable mortgage contract. They plan on foreclosing on my property. But thank God, I found this specialized mortgage company to re-negotiate my loan with the promise to reduce my mortgage payments in half. I sent them the $1800.00 fee and just waiting with baited breath to see how much they can save me.
My bank called later today, saying my checking account is overdrawn, so I requested them to transfer funds from my savings account. They informed me the balance is zero in both accounts. All my funds have been transferred to some overseas account. I never gave anyone permission to transfer funds. I’m going to call a lawyer and straighten this thing out. I saw him on Television (“I’m a wreck and I need a check”). But first, I need to find some funds to pay his retainer of $1000.00 so I took my title to my car over the Money Store and borrowed the money.
When I went to mail box, this must be my lucky day, Publishing Clearing House informed me I am one of three recipients of the grand prize of one million dollars and $500.00 each week for the rest of my life. It sure paid me to keep buying their magazines subscriptions all these years. I went out immediately and put up a banner and colored balloon in front of my house welcoming Publishing Clearing house – as a grand prize winner.
See, I have nothing to worry about, I have two million dollars coming in 30 days, plus winning the grand prize from Publishing Clearing House, and a new and beautiful woman in my life. I’ve renegotiated my mortgage and have engaged a great TV lawyer to work out all my financial problems. Everything is just falling into place.
“What a great life.”
P.S. My nephew just called from Tallahassee, Florida saying he was arrested for driving under the influence and needed bail money. I gave him my Visa Card number. You know it’s funny, he didn’t sound like my sixteen-year-old grandson, Charlie. (Probably his voice changed)
Copyright 2016 Sun City Writers Workshop – Las Vegas, NV.
We appreciate your comments and recommendation. Our two writer workshop consist of over 100 members mostly senior citizens, here in Las Vegas and Minn. From novices to published authors, comedy writers and journalist.
Visit our Summerlin's Writers and Poets Blog:
This month's topic: "A Confession"