Monday, January 8, 2018

'CHEECH AND CHONG'S DILEMMA' By Jerry Silvers

                  


(Chong) “Hey Cheech, what’s your goanna do with that car they sent with the Mexican hash? You listen Man! Now that I got all the stash out of the car and hid it in our crawl space, it’s time we get rid of this car before the police find it. And Cheech, it still got those damn Mexican plates. Man! I’m sure the police got a tip and right now looking for this car.”

“I’m going to keep it man, it’s my kind of car, just look at the sign I just put on the side window, man. This car is real special, man, they floated it right down the Rio Grande River.
 


(Cheech)  “On second thought, maybe your right, I’ll get rid of the plates and I know someone who may want it. My friend’s son in Hollywood just had his Bar Mitzvah and this will be my present. His dad is into classic cars and will fix it up for him. New paint job, new interior, and nobody will ever know it’s the same car.”  
                                                 **
So, Cheech drives the car up to Hollywood and finds his friend’s son, Fred, presenting the car to him as his birthday.

(Fred) “Cheech this is a wonderful present, but my Bar Mitzvah was seven years ago.”

“Okay, so I lost track of time.”
                                                       **
Three days later.

“Hey Cheech, I thought you gave that car away to your friend, how come it’s sitting outside the house with the same Mexican plates.

“Man, maybe his dad found more hash inside and decided to return the car. I don’t know about the plates, that’s strange.”

“I’ll go check the car out, this time even under the seats and inside the spare tire.”

(Two hours later)

(Cheech) “Man, did you find anymore hash?’

“No man, but when I looked in the glove compartment there was a letter from the owner. It said that his grandmother put a curse on this car, that whoever used the car to transport illegal drugs, will be cursed with this car forever.”

“I don’t believe in any curses from some old ugly Mexican lady. Let’s try some of that hash, maybe it will clear our brains and give us an idea on how to get rid of this damn car.”
                                                      **
Cheech came up with a great idea, he drove the car to San Pedro and pushed the car over a cliff. Next day it showed up again in front of the house.

The following night he drove the car out to the desert and set it on fire. The next day it showed up again.

His final attempt and best one yet, he took the car to his friends recycling and junk yard. First the car was crushed, then it went though grinding and cutting machinery until the former car was in tiny metal scrap pieces ready for the steel mill.

“Hey Cheech, check out the front window, it’s out there again. Man, you got a really bad curse on your hands.  What’s you going to do?”

(Cheech) I know this Gypsy fortune teller in San Pedro, she helps people with family curses. Maybe we should go see her?”

So, they drive down to see the Gypsy fortune teller.


(Fortune Teller) “You have a very powerful curse on you Mr. Cheech. If you want me to help take away this curse, you must follow all my instructions. First you must go to church every morning and light two candles for the next 30 days. You must bring to me clippings of your hair along with samples of the illegal drugs, and $100.00 dollars the first week, $500.00 dollars the second week, and $1000.00 on the fourth week for me to finalize the reversal of this curse.

Cheech and Chong looked at each other, thinking this is better than going to jail.

As the time went by, she told them they would have to give up all of the shipment, and she would help dispose of it. She said, “It’s the only way to completely stop the curse.”  
The boys turned over what was left of the shipment.

A week went by and the car appears again, with the horn continuously going on and off in the middle of the night disturbing the neighbors and calling the police.
They tried to reach the San Pedro Gypsy and she was gone, with the money and their hash shipment.

(Chong) “Hey man, we were taken, man. Now we don’t  have enough money for another shipment. I think I’m going back to the beach and get as far away as I can get from that car and you.”
The police came with a search warrant, but they couldn’t find any sign of illegal drugs, so they tow the car to the police impound.
Next day the car came back. It was towed two more times and the police finally gave up.

(Chong) “Hey Cheech, since this car floated down the Rio Grande River, maybe I’ll  take it down to the Santa Monica beach and do some great surfing on the car. What do you think? I know a guy down there that has some great hash, maybe I can make a trade with him for the car, since it is an illegal drug deal the curse can be transferred to him.”  
                                              ***


  “Christine”   A movie was made in the 80’s about an indestructible 1958 Plymouth that was possessed by a demon at the time it was manufactured, and still remains somewhere today.  

Copyright 2018 Summerlin’s Writers and Poets Workshop – Las Vegas, NV.




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